SCORELAND: What club do you currently dance in?

Kalila Kane: I'm not a stripper currently. I haven't been for over a year. I'm busy being a construction contractor now! I do miss learning new pole tricks and becoming stronger and more flexible. If the poles in DC strip clubs weren't so short, I'd be all over them again. I like long poles.

SCORELAND: How long had you been dancing?

Kalila Kane: About a year altogether. Not terribly long, I know.

SCORELAND: Did you originally go to an exotic-dancer school or are you self-taught?

Kalila Kane: Self-taught. I used to go in early when no one was there, with my laptop, and try to mimic some of the more-complex moves I'd find on YouTube.

SCORELAND: Did you do pole dancing? Any girl-on-girl stage play?

Kalila Kane: Yes, I really adored pole dancing all by itself. I'd do some girl-on-girl stage play with girls I befriended, too. I loved girl/girl play. Hell, I love any job where I get paid to sexually harass my coworkers.

SCORELAND: Did you do lap dances also?

Kalila Kane: Yes. My lap dances were sexy!

SCORELAND: What type of costumes and shoes did you like wear on stage?

Kalila Kane: I looked pretty great in my schoolgirl outfit and PVC domme boots with the braces and all. But I also had dresses and neon bikinis and the ever-classy plastic stripper heels. I wish I got the ones with the lights in them. Hell, I wish I found some with little plastic fish floating in them. I would have worn the hell out of those! With a stringy, black, thong micro-bikini and a cane and a giant fuzzy, purple pimp hat with zebra stripes. With some purple sunglasses. That would have been my look hands down-70s style pimp, workin' the stripper pole. Fuck...if I had one regret about quitting, it'd be not wearing that.

SCORELAND: What mistakes do guys make in clubs?

Kalila Kane: Not tipping well. Most other things can be forgiven, but strippers are there to make money.

SCORELAND: What should a guy talk about if he's spending time with a dancer in a club?

Kalila Kane: Nothing. Shut up and enjoy a naked girl dancing on you!

Kalila has a Twitter fan page at @kalilakane.