coming soon: Toppsy Curvey

Sunday, July 28, 1991. The place: Yankee Stadium, Bronx, New York. The teams: Yanks vs. Angels. Attendance: 36, 302, plus one flashy blonde with huge tits, clad in shorts and wearing a bulky jacket over a white T-shirt. She is sitting in Seat 6, Row 5, Box 27, Section 9, Yankee side of home plate. She waits to make her move.

Top of the second inning. Angels on first and second base. Yankee rookie Scott Kamienicki is pitching. A dancer named Toppsy Curvey bolts her seat and dashes to the mound to kiss him on the cheek. The crowd goes ape.

Seconds later, she is taken away by two Burns security guards, and later gets a summons for trespassing. "I never saw a baseball player blush like today. He [Kamienicki] really blushed. That made my day," said Toppsy Curvey, who is actually apologetic. She is outside the stadium signing autographs. "I try to do it usually right after the National Anthem, so I don't disrupt the game. But this time the traffic tied us up." Toppsy is in New York to work at Fantasy Island, a club in upstate Nyack, New York. In fact, the name of the club is printed on her extra-extra-extra large shirt.

Toppsy knows that running out onto a playing field can be extremely dangerous. Every year, people sitting in their seats are badly hurt by balls and broken bats flying into the stands, and the injured can't sue. A dancer with massive, heaving boobs running out to the diamond during a game in progress is taking a very heavy risk. Most of the baseball players she's buzzed, and then bussed, wish she wouldn't do it. The whole thing is an interruption. Kamienicki's teammate Steve Howe: "It's not good for a pitcher. Breaks their whole concentration."

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Featuring: Toppsy Curvey
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